The Hills Have Something in Their Eyes
by wertona9
Summary: Series of random oneshots outlining days and events when the mutants don't have anybody much to kill. Warning: VERY crackish. There will be OOCness. Chapter 3 is up and running! R&R?
1. Rainy Day

Even though they lived in a desert, they knew well enough that it had to rain. June was when it rained the hardest. The little town in the desert was looking and feeling sort of gray with the puddles in the dirt roads. Everyone was staying inside. Some buckets were collecting water for the hotter days. Pluto was having an incredibly rare moment of thought. Lizard was asleep across the room. Big Brain was doing... Well, someone left him outside and he was having a turkeylike moment, staring into the sky with the rain falling in his mouth. Big Mama was inside her house looking after the small children. She was probably worrying about Goggle, who was up on the hills in the rain. Pluto figured he was up there also acting like a turkey. Knowing him, he was probably right. Ruby was with Big Mama. Lizard started to snore somewhere. Even through the storm, some mutants in the other houses could hear him. Pluto decided he had to do something about it, so he just flipped over the bed, with Lizard still in it. The rotting wood of the floor gave out with the sudden movement.

Hades' clan wasn't doing much better at all. Some parts of the mines had flooded, and to prevent minimal drownings, if that was even possible in the shallow amount, maybe I should say minimal suicides, all of them were crowded around the opening in odd ways. Rain made Hades go a little... Hoo- hah. He told Chameleon to stay stiff as a board. No matter what. Then he picked him up and threw him sideways on the ground. Chameleon was holding off killing him. Hades made him lay on his side in front of the opening to the mines. Then he told everyone to file back in. Chameleon started to sit up and object, but somebody gave him a swift kick to the head and told him to stay. I don't think that anyone really tried to reason with Hades. Last time they did on a rainy day like this, he started waving his arms around like an idiot, unintentionally hit some people, ripped someone's shirt off, and ran to the hills. Must be some kind of brain mutation.

After a while, Chameleon heard someone cussing loudly, even through the large amount of water in his ears and face. He was soon faced with the sight of Lizard running away, part of a headboard from his bed around his neck. Pluto was chasing him with some of the rest to adorn him with. All Chameleon really wanted to do was to find a way to wake up his arm.

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**Um, don't ask... **

**It's been raining a lot here, and it seems like that is how it is. People stay inside and sleep while I whack people and act like a turkey. I caught one of my neighbors laying in the middle of their backyard while asleep when it started to rain. The outcomes were.... Interesting. There was a lot of cussing when his wife woke him up.**


	2. Lit up faces & MSI

**Yay for the power of Wack by Mindless Self Indulgence! & long story about Psyreen. He's a character from this one comic I'm making. I got bored and called him a mutant in this, because, what else would he be?  
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"How many useless objects do ya think we have here?" Lizard asked Jupiter one day.

"Useless, or jus' useless to us?" He questioned back.

"To us," He wondered. He really had no reason to be asking, just was too bored to think of any other conversation starters.

"Don't know," Jupiter sighed. They were both quiet for a minuet or two. Suddenly, Lizard thought of something. A wonderful idea. He smiled, and his face lit up. Jupiter looked over quickly, and automatically began to look fearful.

"Y-your face jus' lit up," He said with wide eyes. Lizard wondered if his happiness was that noticeable. Seeing as the two were in the mines, Jupiter clicked off his flashlight, yet everything stayed illuminated.

"Oh," Lizard said, frowning. Jupiter yanked on a piece of his hair and it went dark again. "Well, I have an idea," He started. "Ya know those lil' disks that we got while goin' through people's stuff?" Jupiter looked a little wary.

"Yeah, the CDs?" He inferred, still worried.

"Yeah. We never could play 'em on record players 'ere. Maybe we could use one of the things that people use to play 'em in their cars?" Lizard wondered, his face lightly glowing again. Jupiter smiled.

"Guess we could go down to the craters and find a one of those that still works, but, I think ya never catch onto the fact that the record players never worked. If you don't recall how we lost Psyreen."

Lizard now remembered what happened to Psyreen. Once, when Lizard was attempting to play a record, it spun hysterically until it gained the powers of a frisbee and flew off and out the window. Meanwhile, a mutant named Psyreen was enjoying a walk through the desert, when the record came out of nowhere and lodged itself into his brain.

Lizard laughed sheepishly.

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About an hour later, Lizard, Goggle, and Jupiter had gone down to the craters where they found a working stereo. They just now had lugged it back with them. Lizard held a pile of CD cases. He cautiously held out the first one. It's cover was black with a blue cross made of random objects on it. Below the cross, it read 'You'll rebel to anything.' Jupiter pressed some buttons and the thing opened. Goggle gave a small salute. More buttons were pressed, and the CD slid in. They carefully pressed some arrow buttons. Suddenly, dramatically loud music filled the house. Everyone covered their ears. Someone began singing in an odd high-pitched voice on the stereo.

**I wonder when this is going to stop being fun for me,**

** I wonder when it's going to stop being fun for me,**

**I wonder when Its going to stop being fun for me,**

**five fuckin seconds from now!**

**I really need to quit before it all turns to shit,**

**too fuckin late for that!**

**They say my first CD, was my best one**

**and the other shit was dissapointing...At best!**

Everyone was frantically trying to turn it off, but failing horribly. Eventually the volume went down. Everyone was silent aside from some hysteric screaming from Goggle, which lasted for about five minuets. Some others heard the screaming and knew it was Goggle. He screamed like this whenever something overwhelming or epic happened.

Eventually the people in the desert learned to harness the power of the stereo. Every friday there was a rave. Until they wondered how the hell they were getting electricity out there in the desert and it magically stopped working. I little ironic how those things work.


	3. The Secret Pluto Club

**Ironically enough, this is how most of my phone conversations go. Yesterday my friend and I had a discussion of this topic. And all because of watching Resident Evil: Extinction on Showtime and noticing that Wesker was in some scenes going by 'Chairman Wesker.' **

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Lizard was just enjoying the perfect day. Nobody to kill, so he could lay around, not too hot out, so he didn't have to worry about getting too tired in the usually burning heat. And best of all, nobody to bug him.

He rolled over on his bed. Don't ask me how the floor and the bed got repaired, but it probably has something to do with yelling at it until it got fixed. Maybe not. Maybe Hades wanted to pick on Chameleon some more and hid him somewhere in the floor. Maybe he was the floor. But let's not dwell on that. He smiled at the ceiling for a few seconds, then rolled over again. When he did, he felt something scurry across his face. He slapped it. Jupiter really had to tell him a good way to get rid of the roaches. Lizard sighed, not wanting to let a little bug ruin his good mood.

As soon as he began to think of what could ruin his mood so he could avoid it, Pluto ran in and jumped on him. The floor gave out and they went falling.

Goggle was outside somewhere when he heard the crash, and ran into the small house to investigate. He saw a lot of busted wood, Lizard and Pluto. He just remembered that this was normal so he walked away. Lizard glared at Pluto. He was a bit sad that he wasn't allowed to kill him.

"What?!" He yelled at him, pushing him off. He stood up quickly and kicked him in the face. Not hard, just as a warning. "What do I have to do to keep you from bugging me like this?!" Pluto looked hopeful. He stood up and smiled. "Secret Club," he grunted. Lizard gave him a 'you've got to be kidding me' kind of look. Pluto quickly nodded for about a minuet. Lizard sighed. "Fine, if you promise to leave me alone."

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Within two minuets, Pluto had literally dragged Lizard to a small, one story house that nobody in the test village used for really anything. He also dragged him through the door where he saw Goggle and Ruby sitting on a ripped up sofa. Lizard sighed and took a seat next to Goggle. He thought about switching to next to Ruby because Goggle seemed really exited. He had his hands in fists up to his chin and was bouncing up and down. Lizard decided not to. If he was this happy, he wondered what odd things Ruby would do. Lizard sighed for the umpteenth time that day and put his feet up on the coffee table in front of them. Pluto stood in front of all of them.

"Firs, Council," He said slowly. Goggle squealed.

The first ten minuets were of Pluto trying to find a good way to decide who would be what.

"We... Could jump... Off building... See who live..." He pondered. Everyone shook their heads.

"Potato contest.. Carve potatoes..." Everyone shook their heads.

"Big Brain tipping contest?" Everyone frantically shook their heads.

"How 'bout we jus' take a vote?" Lizard sighed. Pluto smiled and jumped up and down. Lizard rested his head on the back of his hand. All of them were handed a piece of paper and a heavily used pencil. Each wrote their nominations for each position. Pluto really chose odd council position names. Chairman, Spokesperson, Painbringer, and Tacomaker. Lizard nearly ran off then. Painbringer person was in charge of whacking people whenever they did something wrong. Tacomaker was in charge of lunch. lizard was trying really hard not to run out right then and there, until he learned that he was voted in as Chairman. He gave a small smile. Goggle was Spokesperson, Pluto Tacomaker, and Ruby was... Painbringer. Lizard wondered what idiots voted for her as that role. Then he remembered 'Oh yeah, I did.'

When Pluto was telling everyone what they needed to do for their council positions, he just told Lizard to lay in the corner. He did so. After a few minuets, they actually began to do something useful. He thought. Their first 'activity' would be to repair the floor in Lizard's house.

"Stay... 'ere Lizard," Pluto told him. "Dun move," he groaned. Lizard was still laying on the floor.

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Two hours later, the floor was almost done. They only had a few more boards they had to place. They placed them, ripped up some others, put those back down, shoved Goggle out a few windows, found Chameleon hiding in the rubble, and eventually finished. They quickly ran back to the unused house. When they walked in, they noticed Lizard had fallen asleep on the floor. Pluto poked him with his foot a few times. He frowned.

"Spokesperson thinks Painbringer should wake him up," Goggle whispered. Ruby ran forward and gave him a swift kick to the ribs. Lizard shot up with a yell. He cussed a string of words that just may cause sailors to jump overboard and commit suicide.

"Morning," Goggle said. Lizard grumbled and started to stand up when Pluto and Ruby sat on his back, bringing him back down.

"Spokesperson thinks that Chairman looks comfy," Goggle observed. "He's an ol' pervert. He prolly enjoys bein' sat on."


End file.
